黑涩会美眉

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

never a time... have i felt this pain in myself... a feel to die... warning letters flowing in... feeling irritated... getting pissed off... not wif anyone.. but wif myself.... can anybody jus kill me pls? jack of all trades but master of none... haiz... look on the bright side of life... wtf... life itself is a torture... its a joke... i cant see any bright side... wan bright side go buy lightbulb la... sure bright... like.. haiz... guess i shld go die ba... nobody loves me or cares for me anyway... y i so stupid... frenz.... always stick to them... they make me hapy... but .... they cant help... they can only take away my pain for a while... jus like taking a drug... not all la... but some... nice ppl to hang out wif... but u can only share ur fun and laughter... u can nv share ur problems... cus some of them jus don understand... they hav nv been thru my type of life... all they hav is minor problems... they don noe my pain... and they tot its easy... but NO... its not... having a father tis way...wat the hell... haiz... i am not as rich... i cant hav wat they have... ppl say... the more pain u go thru.. the stronger u are... but i am breaking down... does anyone understands???? NO!!!! i feel lonely when i am not wif my frenz... y? cus i jus cant seem to drag my thoughts away frm my failing studies... my failed relationship... my fallen confidence... ppl think i emo write blog... say all tis shit and nonsense... u can choose not to read if u donwan to... tis is all about my life and wats going on about me and inside me... i don nid ppl who push me down... if all that i do is to receive ur sacarsm... den fucked off.... i am me myself... i am uniquely me... u cant stand me den get lost... i don nid u... i nid ppl to encourage me to get on... not take my life as a joke and laugh it off... i hav low self esteem... high ego... but so wat? at least i am not like u... high self esteem high ego... and always pushing ppl down instead of pullin them up wif u... bear in mind... all this will drop gradually... if u don noe how to learn frm my mistake.. den u are worse den me... i don nid idiots to act in front of me.... if u dislike me ... tell me straight... i wont do anything... but i will thank u for ur honesty and the heart that is willing to act so long till now.... ... .... ... ... .... jus hope that one day... a miracle can happen to me... hope one day... somehow i will have eternal happiness....

12:04 AM