黑涩会美眉

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Today wake up feeling damn shit... wth... had a bad dream... in the end no mood go sch... sobs.... dreamt about my father call police arrest me... haha... in my dream i still wearing springfield uniform lor... haha... but i woke up crying... sad sia... dunno wat happen... haiz... anyway i skipped school today... nv go sch... had some problem wif my body...cough blood... blow nose got blood... shit also blood... worse thing is... ears flow out blood... omg.. am i dying? has been going thru tis for 2 weeks... hope it will stop... cus i feeling scared le... i still haven found my true love yet... i cant die... hmmm... but i feeling so sian nowadays... gf left me that time... till now... stil so lonely... bloody hell... today no mood to write blog.. haha... wrote for 3 hrs but nuttin came out.. anyway.. its ald 2 am... mus go slp liao...

12:13 AM

Monday, November 27, 2006

haha.... its always me feeling down when i do blogging... haha... still can laugh... lol.... but i am really feeling down la.... ytd went to MOS for the first time... ministry of sound... not MOS burger... hahahahahaha... i think i siao liao... cus not funny... anyway... ytd was really fun... i dance like hell... giving all that i've got.... dance so much till i feel dizzy... and whole body aches this morning... don even feel like stoppin... but too bad... mos hav to close... or else i would have dance all the way till i drop... thats wat i wan anyway... i was like high on drugs... and high on liquor... but one thing to note... i didnt even take anything.... i jus had a cup of sprite... thats all... not even liquor... needless to say.. drugs.... ytd was the first time i dance... after so long in my life even though i love to dance but ytd was the first time i really dance in public... the feeling is jus like a bird that was locked up for almost 18 yrs.. finally found its freedom.... however... every good thing in life is short... all happiness are to be short-lived... cus God created this world but we disobey him... therefore we are to be tortured during our lives alive... anyway... i saw many gals... all are open minded... as in... dance a while u can see them hug together le... and sad to say... i am always almost the one to be that guy hugging those gals... but as everyone noes me... i am shy... i may be outgoing... but u ask me do all tis things... and getting to noe gals in public i am really shy... wat can i sae... haiz... nth ba... a life that is nv going to see light... a life that will always be alone... i feel so sorry for myself... but i will still continue strive... to find... that special 1... the one who really cares bout me... how i wish... that i am handsome looking... tall... fit... how i wish.. i am a bastard who play gal's heart... how i wish.... that i can fuck gals and dump them jus like wat ppl do... how i wish i am evil to sum it all.... haiz... y cant i be evil?? y mus i think that true loves really exist? y mus i believe in everlasting love? y mus i believe that sex is sacred....how i wish... haiz... i jus wan be happy... y is it that its so hard being a good guy and staying happy at the same time? relationships.... haha... wats that? wats true love?? haha... hahahahahaha.... am i stupid? am i really dumb? i guess i am... nan ren bu huai nu ren bu ai... is this really true?? who can really gif me the true meaning of love?? tell me.... pls appear before me... i really cant wait anymore... studies... i don even understand a shit... worse stilll... i cant even see... no specs.... haiz... how i wish i can continue dancing till i drop dead... cus even if i die... there wont be anybody to care anyway.... nobody is going to be sad for me.... i live in a world of darkness... a world all by myself.... i am afraid of the dark... but who cares anyway?? i am emo... but y am i emo?? cus i really fel tis way.. its not wat i wan... but do i hav a choice?? haiz... jus hope the person appear... the gal of my life... appear and don ever leave me anymore,.. so i noe i am not alone....

7:52 PM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

its been 2 days since we officially broke up... i have not been having a good time all this while... faking a smile... haiz... hw good can life be? y is it that u love a person truly he or she always gif u this type of problems? really don understand why... money has been flowing so smoothly ever since the day i left her.. haiz.. allowance left so little cant buy my phone liao.. her birthday is nearing soon... 30th november..haiz.. how i wish i can spend my time wif her... haiz... anyway i believe i got over her le ba... at least i'm no longer depress... how i wish time can turn back again... i wan my happy times again... its difficult starting a new relationship... its been so many relationships... haiz... how i wish i can have a long relationship... i don nid a pretty gal or a very hourglass de,.. i jus nid someone who really cares... someone who feels that i matters in her heart...maybe i ald met that someone .. or maybe that someone is still somewhere out there i dunno... but one thing i noe.... my heart is true... haiz... so true for wat? no point la... but wat can i do? i am devoted since the day i am born... ppl call me flirt cus i got lots of gf... but who cares... i got so many cus all fail... if it succeed den will only got one only.... haiz... relationship....wat the hell is that sia? .... anyway... projects... sian sia... so bored... anyway... got to go chiong liao.... haha... update again...

10:33 PM

Monday, November 13, 2006

A sad and tiring day.... so long nv blog liao... haiz... right eyelid hav been twitching for the past few days.. today all things happen liao.. my eyelid stop twitching le... i was cycling to sch... den i fell frm my bike...was nearly ran over by a taxi... the fall... had a few scratches on my hands.. my third toe nail.. was cut into 2.. the toe itself had a deep cut.. the skin below was peel off and it was bleeding... and i sprained my right toe... hw unlucky.. the worse is... it was jus hrs before the soccer competition.. i didnt care bout it.. the match start... few of the main players nv play.. cus they don wan to come... first half.. we draw 4-4.. an even match... i was playin the holdin role... haha long time nv play tis role a bit weird but was quite effective.. block at least 12 shots with my legs and body...second half i tried to move forward.. wanna try score goals... in the end i leave my position i cus my team lose.. haiz... sad... didnt score a goal at all... where is all my skills man... all gone... relationship problem really don wan say le.. over and over the same thing... u all listen sian le i presume.. i also write till sian le... i hope to hav a good gf who cares about me.. someone who really really bothers bout me... jus pray for me.. thats really my wish... haiz.. so tired... guess i stop here ba.. nitez.. will update soon again...

11:57 PM